U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
