So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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