it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
