the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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