i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
