I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
