8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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