He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
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