didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
