He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
