If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
