He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
