Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Randomize
