Just cropdusted the office
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
