Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
