Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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