I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
