The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
