Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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