we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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