i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
