you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
