PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
So vagazzling was a success
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
