i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I touched a dick in church today
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