I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize