Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
