How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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