in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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