8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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