Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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