O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
