OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
