i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
