this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
