There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
His hands were made for my vagina.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
