one two three fourrrrnication!
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
