He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
