I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I looked at my own cervix.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
