if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
