"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
