I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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