And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize