We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
