the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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