I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
