i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
