weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize