Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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