so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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