I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
