No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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