420 ftw
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
