i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
