Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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