tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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