i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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