Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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