You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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