Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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