Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
