five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
