please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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