He asked me if I "almost moaned"
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
