I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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