Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
