She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
